Yesterday I talked about my technical troubles and reaching out to young technically more versed people.
Technical trouble can really frustrate you
Today I am already on my way of finding solutions
I was sent a few links and YouTube Videos to try and sort this issue out. As a result, I now have the Front Page, and the designated blog page. Even though I still have trouble working on some of the details, I am confident. Hey, there are still more videos to watch and things to try!
It is amazing what even an old Lady like myself can still learn. So never give up!
I have been struggling with an issue on my website. I accidentally set it up as a blog and not a website with a blog and now I can’t seem to change it back.
Don’t fear to admit when you have technical problems. Ask for help
This was a big lesson in humility. IT reminds me of those days when I started out as a full time project manager in a field I had no clue off. I, a Nurse & medial administrator, was suddenly in charge of Data Infrastructure Projects…..
Don’t give up, but be ready to learn on your feet
Luckily I had already understood a very important point:
The project manager manages the project, but is not the subject matter expert! Your team are the experts and you need to learn from them the basics, and learn to lead them. Servant leadership helps you to bring out the best in the team.
So I asked several tech Gurus what to do. I actually asked to teach me how to solve this. Now I have a whole long list of YouTube videos to watch and lots of great advise. And the cherry on the cake? I am learning how to do these things.
Never stop learning
I think admitting when you are stuck or you do not know something is very healthy. It makes you come across as more genuine, it gives your team a chance to shine and it can bring your team closer together.
When I started with Data Infrastructure projects I did not have a clue about data cabling, I didn’t know the difference between a UTP and a phone cable, I was scared of fiber cables, since all I knew was they are fiber glass and can break and I wouldn’t have known an RJ11 or and RJ45 if it hit me in the face. So I asked my team to help me out. We set down in the dirt and dust of construction sites and they showed me what I needed to know. They even showed me how to crimp cables. I sat down also with the guys who did design drawings and learned when to cascade switches and when not to.
Lessons Learned
These lessons free you from a lot of stress
After I learned all the basics, I realized 3 things:
I will never be a Data Infrastructure specialist, but I do not need to be either. As long as I build my team and allow them to shine we will be good to go.
As a Project Manager I do not need to be the subject matter expert, I need to surround myself with them
Learning from each other builds the team and pulls them closer together
Let’s all keep learning and keep allowing your team to shine!
In our day and age, especially with work moving online, we have maneuvered ourselves into a very stressful situation. Many no longer know where to draw a line between work & life.
Unfortunately this is what life has become for many. No time for anything else.
Stacy Valancy recently did a poll on LinkedIn, asking if you check emails on weekends. The results are a reflection of the sad situation we are living in. 64% of the respondents regularly check emails over the weekend. This means outside normal working hours and should not include your Saturday office hours.
This is a very sad situation, which is causing many people to burn out and also to become isolated. Your work should never be all you do in life. It brings with it the pandemics of high blood pressure or stomach ulcers and other stress related diseases we see even in very young people.
We need to change this!
I always recommend to have a look at your contract. It indicates working hours. See them? Yeah, those are the hours you are committed to work. Working more hours regularly does not make you a better performer.
Please make sure you teach yourself this and then teach all those young people working under you!
This is what the equation should look like!
In order to really succeed in life and to remain healthy and productive for years to come, you need to ensure you have time for rest & play, for living in your life. Yes, we do live in a high pressure environment and there are many sharks out there. That is no reason to sacrifice your health. Is that high paying job with the big perks and being able to afford a flashy lifestyle really worth this sacrifice? Once you have ruined your health, you can never recover fully.
What will you be able to say about your life by the time you are 60?
You worked all your life?
That you sacrificed friends & family to your work?
Yes, you made lots of money, but you had no time to enjoy it?
The career came with a big sacrifice: Your health?
Or would you like the story of your life sound more like this:
You built an amazing family with a comfortable income?
People admire the big positive influence you had in your community?
You enjoyed life to the fullest?
What needs to change?
If you want to be in the second lot, then it is time to start reviewing your life. Do you have time for family & friends? Are you taking time off from work on weekends? Is it really necessary to respond to these office emails over the weekend? Trust me you only need to respond to these emails if you are in emergency services, and even then only if you are on call.
Take time off from work, switch off completely. Make sure you don’t become the bore who only knows how to talk about work and is on the phone the whole time. Go out and have real fun. Go enjoy Nature, play some games, do some sports, spend quality time with family & friends. There is nothing as refreshing as switching off your phone for a whole day while going for a game drive or a hike.
When is the last time you simply enjoyed a walk / hike in nature?
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is something we need to learn again! What is Mindfulness? It is the art to be present in the moment:
Take time to feel – the air, the wind, the chair you are sitting on, the love of those you are with
Listen actively – when is the last time you consciously took time to listen to the wind in the trees? The birds around you? The laughter of the neighbor’s children?
Simply be present – no pressure, enjoy the moment, and don’t think of anything else
Calm your mind – our minds often go at 180km/h thinking of all the things we have to do. What do I need to do at work. What I didn’t manage to do etc. Take time to simply clear your mind
Play a round of golf – you can’t hit that golf ball properly, if you do not clear your mind
Breath – consciously breath, feel the breath going in and out of your nose and lungs
For some these things may sounds too New Age. Give it a try anyway! You will see how these things calm you down.
Nature is my happy place! I go out into nature at least every weekend. I find nature near me
Where do I find rest?
Some of you may say, you can’t afford to go for an outing every weekend. This is not about expensive outings. I find nature around me. Yes I am lucky enough to have a garden, where I can sit in the grass and listen to birds, or simply the wind in the trees. There were days I lived in an apartment. I brought nature in by having plants and a comfortable chair. I’d sit out there for hours on end. My neighbors would wonder what this chick is up to. But often I found others trying it out later and also using their balcony to relax. Go to the park of the town you live in.
Here are some tips for those who work from home:
You are allowed to switch off that computer! I have a small working desk, where I only sit for work. If you need to work off your dining table, make sure you clear your laptop and work note books when you are done for the day! I switch off at 5pm and go for a walk or to the gym. If I really have something else to do, then I go back to it later when my mind is refreshed.
Think twice before you open the emails during your time off. What would happen if you don’t respond now, but the next work day?
Plan time for relaxation. Have your walking shoes in your car.
Going to the bar is socializing, not relaxation. It is important, but does not really relax you well. Plan extra relaxation as well.
Plan your weekends. If you do not have a plan, you will not find time to relax. Trust me I also do most of my household chores and shopping on weekends. But I slot in purposeful time out in nature and plan the rest around this time slot.
Don’t fear solitude, it is not loneliness. Spending time with yourself in nature is very relaxing.
Take your leave. Don’t sell your leave and don’t spend your leave running around sorting things out. Of course there will be things you need to do, private projects to run etc. Again take the time to plan relaxation. Days on which you simply treat yourself to time out. Your body will thank you.
It is that simple
When is the last time you admired a spider web? The artful construction? When is the last time you admired a beautiful leave?
Great Leaders think they work for their Team, Average Leaders believe their Team works for them. Alexander Den Heijer
I couldn’t agree more! Unfortunately too many leaders still believe they need to tell their teams what to do and how to do it. This kills all creativity and can kill commitment as well. Let’s learn together how to serve our teams to bring out the best in them.
How can I serve my team?
Servant Leadership needs a shift of attitude
Here are a few steps & tips:
Change your inner attitude – You are not here to tell them, you are here to enable them. Can you comfortably step away from your team and let them get on with it, trusting they will succeed?
Build your team and build trust – bring them closer together so that they form a cohesive unit with you being one of them. Build genuine trust between all of you, so people feel free to speak up and know you have each others back
Enable your team – when is the last time you asked them “What can I do to help you perform better”, then removed the stumbling blocks and barriers they mentioned
Build meaningful relationships with each of the team members. Find something that connects you.
Speak last when brain storming. Let them voice their ideas first and then summarize.
Cheer them on, celebrate their wins and appreciate the individual contributions
Get regular feedback from your team and listen to it.
Have fun together!
A cohesive team that trusts each other and is comfortable with each other, works like a well oiled machine
Results
If you manage to build your team as detailed above you will see how the team will grow beyond what they expected. They will have fun while doing it and your outcomes will be amazing.
Today was one of these days where you get totally overwhelmed and can’t believe you are that person people are writing to.
I had not realized my latest article on projectmanagement.com had been posted. By the time I opened my inbox and saw notifications for comments I already had 4 pages of comments.
The joy of realizing you are reaching others and speaking from their heart
I got such amazing responses and could see I spoke from their heart. For an introvert at heart like myself who grew up knowing I am useless, it is still unbelievable when I see such positive reactions. Over the years I have learned to accept such praise gracefully even when I feel like I don’t deserve it. When I am down and feel like a failure I actually go back and read such feedback to help me gain confidence again.
I know many struggle with confidence due to similar experiences to the ones I had growing up. For us it is important to keep reassuring ourselves.
A tool that helps
I was given this tool years ago by a therapist and it works every time I use it.
Give yourself the gift of an achievement box
I have an achievement box. It is full of little colored notes. Each has an achievement written on it. Something that I am proud of and that is important to me. This ranges from “Ran a timed full marathon” off my bucket list, to “Got PMP certified” and many other personal and professional goals achieved. When I am down I pick up the box and start pulling out notes at random. This helps me remember all the great achievements of my life. For the first few notes usually my negative self will start saying “ah, this was not so important” or “well anyone can achieve this” or “that was just a lucky circumstance”. But after a few more notes you get this warm feeling and the reassurance you need to start believing in yourself again.
Get a Mentor
We all need mentors. Reach out to someone who knows something better than you and ask them for mentorship. Many will feel honored to help you. I have had many mentors throughout my career and with some we even mentored each other. I helped them with something they were still learning, and they helped me.
Mentorship is not instruction, but helping someone think through things and sharing your experience, so they can learn from it. Sharing best practices is part of it.
Have a Cheering Squad
Allow yourself to be celebrated & cheered on
Your need a few people in your life who believe in you. I am thankful that I have close friends who keep cheering me on. They give me constructive feedback and give me that pad on the back I need to make me aim even higher.
Many of us have problems seeing our true value. If you use the tools above, you will slowly start seeing your own true value.
