Today was one of these days where you get totally overwhelmed and can’t believe you are that person people are writing to.
I had not realized my latest article on projectmanagement.com had been posted. By the time I opened my inbox and saw notifications for comments I already had 4 pages of comments.
I got such amazing responses and could see I spoke from their heart. For an introvert at heart like myself who grew up knowing I am useless, it is still unbelievable when I see such positive reactions. Over the years I have learned to accept such praise gracefully even when I feel like I don’t deserve it. When I am down and feel like a failure I actually go back and read such feedback to help me gain confidence again.
I know many struggle with confidence due to similar experiences to the ones I had growing up. For us it is important to keep reassuring ourselves.
A tool that helps
I was given this tool years ago by a therapist and it works every time I use it.
I have an achievement box. It is full of little colored notes. Each has an achievement written on it. Something that I am proud of and that is important to me. This ranges from “Ran a timed full marathon” off my bucket list, to “Got PMP certified” and many other personal and professional goals achieved. When I am down I pick up the box and start pulling out notes at random. This helps me remember all the great achievements of my life. For the first few notes usually my negative self will start saying “ah, this was not so important” or “well anyone can achieve this” or “that was just a lucky circumstance”. But after a few more notes you get this warm feeling and the reassurance you need to start believing in yourself again.
Get a Mentor
We all need mentors. Reach out to someone who knows something better than you and ask them for mentorship. Many will feel honored to help you. I have had many mentors throughout my career and with some we even mentored each other. I helped them with something they were still learning, and they helped me.
Mentorship is not instruction, but helping someone think through things and sharing your experience, so they can learn from it. Sharing best practices is part of it.
Have a Cheering Squad
Your need a few people in your life who believe in you. I am thankful that I have close friends who keep cheering me on. They give me constructive feedback and give me that pad on the back I need to make me aim even higher.
Many of us have problems seeing our true value. If you use the tools above, you will slowly start seeing your own true value.