Category: A Project Managers Ramblings

-These days we talk about toxic environments, toxic work places, toxic marriages. The question is what really makes this toxic? What does this mean. Let’s explore a bit today. We will concentrate on understanding what a toxic environment is and what potential causes are. I will explore later what you can do about it in a later blog.

One thing one needs to understand: a toxic environment can be toxic either to individuals or to all. Very often when it is toxic to individuals, others have either not understood that it is toxic yet, or are in denial. If you experience an environment as toxic it is valid and you have a right to deal with it. Your feelings are valid.

What does toxic environment actually mean – what does it look like?

 

How do I recognize a toxic work environment? To get to the bottom of this I did a quick internet search and it came up with the following:

1. There are no boundaries around work – role confusion, your job descriptions seems like just a piece of paper
2. Interpersonal relationships aren’t healthy – People don’t trust each other, People treat each other with contempt, lots of gossip
3. There is no room to make mistakes
4. No support for growth – Senior positions always given to outsiders
5. Gaslighting
6. People regularly feel stressed – you will see that by the number of people who look for other jobs while at work. How often do you see CVs printed out on the printer? People are disengaged and you have a high turnover. In such situations morale tends to be low.
7. A culture of overwork – both work load and hours worked. Overtime is the norm, the tale of “a good performer works overtime” is spread by Senior People. Contractual hours are not respected. Your feel guilty to take time off when you are sick.
8. Employees are treated in unacceptable ways like bullying, poor behaviors, poor communication culture, managerial tyranny, real issues are not dealt with.
9. Praise and recognition are missing

I compiled this from bits and pieces of several articles I found, but mainly from this one: “9 Signs of Toxic Work Environment – and what to do about it”

If you see any of these symptoms, start thinking and analyzing how toxic the environment is for you.

What are the causes of these symptoms?

This actually all is poor leadership – please refer to my many blogs about leadership. Leadership should never be telling people what to do. True leadership that brings out the best in people and helps people grow. This includes identifying and counteracting anything that can cause an environment to become toxic.

These are some of the issues that often remain unaddressed and then turn the environment to become toxic.

• Poor Culture
• Inefficient Leadership understanding, maturity & style
• Harmful employees continue to stay and continue their behavior
• Poor HR skills – this includes, no discussions on career posts, always looking outward for the next leader, not preparing people for future leadership roles with leadership training, no mentorship

How do I recognize that an environment is toxic for me?

Remember, I said an environment can be toxic for some and others feel comfortable. That does NOT make you weak. It is important to recognize what affects you. So here are some important pointers that you can use to identify a toxic situation. One or a combination of several can apply

• You have to explain yourself to often
• Feeling unappreciated
• No future path, no support
• Bullying
• Being overlooked
• Gaslighting – resulting in feeling unsafe
• No space to voice your concerns or ask questions
• Overtime is expected
• Job Description does not count
• Workload is unrealistic
• No support among peers

Why do I perceive one environment more toxic than others

This is directly related to your previous experience and a multitude of other factors. Your previous traumas affect this. The situations reminds you of previous experience.  Maybe you are more aware of what is a toxic environment.

Where do we go from here?

Once you have identified a situation as toxic, you need to make decisions for yourself. Where do you want to go from here? What do your want to and can you do about this.

Let’s continue exploring in future blogs. Meanwhile read my blogs on leadership.

We are in a work place mental health crisis.  Yet it severely impacts our performance, our health and our happiness. Let’s explore a bit more about it.  In my experience mental health in Kenya or third-world workplaces is usually overlooked. We are taught early to not share any feelings at work. This has a very detrimental effect on mental health of employees. At the same time HR professionals are often poorly prepared to deal with mental health among their employees. Often they simply do not have the time.

This results in very sad statistics: In Kenya, an estimated 3.7 million out of 24.9 million working individuals may have a mental health condition. However again, because we are sweeping this under the carpet we end up with a whole host of other issues. Do you know people who drink to forget? People who think drinking, or other excesses are a way to relax? Who believe it helps them switch off their mind? Have you noticed people desperately looking for new jobs? These are all symptoms of toxic bosses. While we may not be able to change our bosses, we can greatly influence on our own well being. 

What influences our mental health?

We are so used to simply replying that we are well. Let’s take time and think about your response next time you are asked.

For way too long has our environment expected us to show the stiff upper lip, no admit that we are human and never ever show your true feelings. I want to encourage all of us to start being honest when we are asked how are you.

I had a friend in college, who would literally take you by the shoulders shake you gently and ask you “how are you, really” when she felt you lied with your answer.  That made a world of a difference to me!

• I felt seen
• I felt important enough to this person
• I felt like I mattered

For me, a person who grew up being told & shown regularly that I had no value, that I didn’t count and that I should not take myself important, this was a revolution. Suddenly I mattered!

Yes, it affected my mental health, positively!

Factors Destroying Mental Health in the Workplace

Our mental health is affected daily.  Not just by our moods – that’s short term – but in the long term by experiences. How we and others perceive us, by traumas, and so many more factors. What do you think when you look in the mirror? For years and years I would look in the mirror and think “Looser”, “You fat and ugly cow” and other negative thoughts. That’s how I perceived myself.

How you think about yourself affects your self image and that in turn affects how others perceive you! Your self-image is shaped by how loved ones, colleagues, and bosses treat you. It is actually a chicken & egg situations, since how you perceive yourself is heavily influenced by how those around you perceive you. Yet if you have a negative self image you actually teach them to perceive you negatively.

This directly affects your mental health in a negative way. You will fight with things like depression, eating abnormalities and in worst cases even self harm. It will also trigger or aggravate physical issues like acidity, ulcers, high blood pressure etc.

Now how do we get ourselves out of this negative perception? It is as simple as saying “enough”. It is definitely not that fast. But that is the beginning.

6 Proven Strategies to Rebuild Your Self-Image (From My Journey)?

Here are some of the things I did successfully. I went from a teenager who didn’t dare have my own opinion because I felt so unimportant, so stupid and so worthless to a confident professional. Now I am someone who clearly sets boundaries and walks away from toxic situations, even if this means leaving a very good salary.

1. A friend who is a therapist, told me to change the image i see when looking in the mirror by positive self talk. She gave me the home work to stand in front of the mirror for 10 minutes every day and say positive things about myself. It was hard in the beginning, I felt like a liar, I felt foolish, my mind kept telling me these positive things are not true. But I kept at it. Not every day, but in the long run I could see my self perception shift
2. I have an achievement box. This is a box with little loose pieces of paper and each piece has an achievement I am proud of, this goes across all areas in live. There are achievements from “I ran a marathon”, over “I learned to accept myself and live positively with Rheumatoid Arthritis”, to “I successfully changed career at 46” and “I did my under graduate degree with 42”. When I feel down and like the biggest looser I will sit down and pull papers out randomly and read them. Then I will confirm to myself, yes indeed I achieved this. I do this until I feel better about myself. I got this tip from a trauma therapist. She told me not to make a list, because then the achievements are in a set order and do not affect you positively as much as pulling them randomly. This does work and I noticed I needed to use it less and less often
3. I changed my approach to job search. It went from just looking for an income to what do I want to do and then even doing long research about the potential employer to see if there is a history of toxic behaviors.
4. I learned to set boundaries – yes I have repeatedly had discussions with my bosses, when i was still in employment, where we rediscussed my role, and reset priorities. Especially in these toxic situations where a boss keeps adding you responsibilities because you are reliable.
5. I tried to use discussions with Senior Managers and HR Managers, to try and defuse toxic situations. However, this was only partly successful. Here in Kenya we generally have a very old fashioned culture set-up, where anyone talking about something like this will be perceived as weak.
6. I learned to walk away. If a situation is toxic for you – others may not perceive it as toxic or some times just keep quiet because of the good salary or such – you need to check your mental health. If you are starting to feel depressed, frustrated, stuck or like you are useless, it is time to walk away.  If possible look for another job first, so that you don’t end up without income. But sometimes you need to get away quickly if it is affecting you badly.

The Mental Health Crisis affects all of us – we need to find solutions for ourselves

There are many other things I could list from my experience. I will spend time in the next few blogs and start discussing different aspects of mental health toxic environments etc.

My main message here is: Take care of yourself! You are the most important person to yourself. If your mental health is suffering, your work, your friendships,  relationships and your family will suffer.

Follow for my next blog on overcoming workplace trauma in African cultures.

How often do we set ourselves optimistic timelines and end up disappointing ourselves, because our body and mind demands a break.

Don’t allow yourself to be pulled down. Take that break! You need it and you deserve it.

I am currently in the privileged position that I have 2 days a week for non-client work, on which I am meant to do my writing, catch up with accounts, prepare, and in future hold workshops. In other words I am flexible. The last few years have been tough on me. Add an autoimmune disease into the equation and you can imagine my body begs for rest once in a while. I had to learn to take deliberate breaks.

 

A few Facts

Let’s start with a few medical facts. I am a Nurse after all.

1. If you work more than 50 hours a week your overall output will become less instead of more! Yes we need those breaks. Our body needs rest, our mind needs rest
2. You do not switch off if you go from screen to screen. So being glued to your phone in your work breaks you are not switching off. A trap I fall into often enough myself. And when you get home don’t switch on the TV immediately. Reading an actual book instead of your Kindle is also better for you.
3. You need to remove your eyes from the screen regularly for proper focus. – Read that again! It is actually recommended to remove your eyes from the key board, or put your pen down every 20min and look around.
4. Forbes has the following suggestions in the article “The Most Productive Ways to take Breaks”
5. Here is another blog with medical Facts “7 Science Backed Ways to Take Better Breaks”

 

 

Effective Breaks – Real Life Samples

I found it interesting that in the EPMO of my current client the Project Managers all have a preferred effective way to take breaks. It was really amazing to see this, since we have only come together in the last 1 year and only 2 had worked together before. Here are some examples

• Takes a nap every lunch break in your car –  make sure you set an alarm
• Go to climb the stairs when the brain goes foggy
• Take a 10min power nap in the car
• Go and talk to a colleague – have a water cooler chat. Talk with the security guard or the cleaning Lady
• My own personal Best: The office is located next to Nairobi National Park and being on 5th floor allows amazing views. I go to the lift lobby and look for which game is around. Yesterday there were giraffes that hanged around the whole day. We often get buffalo, Hardee’s Beast, Impala, and at times even Rhino.
• I have a colleague who loves wildlife as much as I do and we call each other when we see something exiting. We call it a mini safari. Even the COO has his binoculars on his desk.

You need these short breaks and even the Kenyan Law allows for a tea break every morning and every afternoon.

During Lunch Break I regularly go for short walks, which also really refreshes your mind.

What to do on your days off

If you look around you will find the most effective people do great things during their days off. And hanging around bars is not part of this.

My all time favorite hobby is going out in nature! Every weekend I do something that takes me out into nature. Either I take a 3 hour walk with my group in Sigiria Forest.

Or I play golf, go for game drives if I find someone with a 4 wheel drive, or go for hikes, when my body allows.

Those who are not into sports can have simple garden parties or something where they spend time outside. Nature helps you relax.

It Is Ok to Rest

If you had planned a lot and then your brain switches off, or your physical body says no, please take a break. You deserve it! Once you have taken the break you will also feel that you are able to concentrate better and your output will be better.

For example I was going to write another chapter for my book today and start putting together a 1 day workshop that I have been working on. However in the morning my brain was foggy and I realized I need a break in nature first. So I went to Sigiria Forest. I know, you probably think, that way both the book and the workshop will not get done in good time. But think about this:

• Is your self-set deadline realistic?
• If you take an effective break you will have the energy to actually be more productive afterwards
• Some of your best ideas will come while you are out in nature – yes this is true!

 

So learn to listen to your body and take effective breaks. It is ok!

Sometimes we do find ourselves in situations where things are just falling apart outside of work and this definitely affects your work. Have you ever sat at your desk, struggling to hold back tears, your brain is on a re-play you do not seem to be able to stop? It has happened to me several times in my life. Let me share a few quick fixes and one or two long time fixes for such situations.

Quick Fixes

These are in no particular order I use them by gut feeling.

• Take a walk, if possible in a forest
• Do a good gym work out, where you push yourself to the limit
• Meet your BFF to moan & groan. At this point you just want to feel better you are not ready for a solutions yet, so no need to dissect the situation.
• Go treat yourself for a spa treatment, a meal or a nice cup of coffee.
• Burry yourself in work – this actually works for the short time. It needs to be work that uses your full brain capacity. While you are working you will forget what is bugging you. But it is not a long time solution. You will burn out, if you do it over a longer period.
• Meditate

I am sure you can come up with other solutions. The above are simply quick solutions to give your brain a break and give you some relief. Now you need to follow it up with a long term solution.

Long Term Solutions

Only if you find a solution that gives you peace and brings you back to your happy self will you be able to go back to normal life and perform at your best. This is part of work-life balance, anything that affects you in your private life, will affect your performance at work. Your mental health will also suffer with any unresolved conflict, issue and challenge.

You need to sit down and work on a proper solution. Rest in the knowledge that this will make you grow and you will come out stronger on the other side. Here are a few things I do, again in no particular order:

Examples:

• Get back to your BFF, now it is time to dissect the situation and get to the bottom of it
• Do a brain dump, put all your thoughts and feelings on paper. Then try to put them in some order. Group those that belong together and think them through. Where are these thoughts and feelings around this come from? Why is it bugging you so much?
• Do a SWAT analysis about the situation
• If it is a relationship issue (this could be friendships as well, not just love relationships) then think it through. Is it time to fight to get things back to normal or is it time to pick up your pieces and move on? If you want to stay in the relationship, is it because you are used to it and it is comfortable? Is it because you feel you won’t find another friend like this? Are you really valued and appreciated in this relationship?
• Find several possible solutions and think them through one-by-one. A cost benefit analysis can help here.
• Look out for positive things in your life. What is currently going well? What are you achieving? Maybe it is time to get out the good old achievement box again. I have talked about it before. As I am writing about it, I am rushing to mine to do some updates.

The main point here is that you have to do something. You can not remain stuck in the hole you are in. You owe yourself to resurface from it rising like the phoenix from the ashes.

Conclusion

Whatever you chose to do, you need to get a way out and resolve whatever is affecting your work. By the end of the day you need to make a living and be at your best.

Always remember you are worth it! You are valuable! Yes, you deserve the best – Now don’t go thinking the Best is the most expensive 😉

You deserve a happy life both at work and at home and only you can take care of yourself!

Every time general elections come near Kenya’s business world goes into some kind of hiatus, which is caused by previous bad experiences. Businesses put any investment and even investment decisions on hold, projects are put on hold or the start is delayed, foreign investment is delayed and some companies actually stop shipping to Kenya until elections are complete and peace prevails. Employment decisions are delayed and contracts are not signed either. At the same time individuals are reminded of their experiences during dark parts of Kenyan election related history. It can be quite traumatic.

You can see that elections in Kenya have far reaching impact, even if nothing happens. Right now, a few days to the D Day rumors are flying around, embassies send out warnings to their citizens and people go into panic buying mode. Some even leave the country temporarily so as not to get caught in any potential violence.

No, I am not saying there is any need to panic or be in fear.

Right now it is actually amazingly quiet and peaceful.

Disturbing Facts

However the facts I mentioned above, do hamper business and stall progress in your contracts, projects, programs etc. It can also take its toll on mental health and ability to perform in individuals. Hence, during these times we need to be lenient, supportive and plan for the worst while praying for the best.

What to do?

Here are some common sense tips:

1. Don’t panic! Nothing has happened and nothing may happen.
2. Take a deep breath, analyze the situation and plan. Let’s remain level headed.
3. Keep your ears on the ground and adjust your plans accordingly.
4. Do stock up on groceries, especially those that do not perish quickly, but avoid panic buying. Nothing has happened yet and maybe nothing will.
5. Fuel your car, if anything happens, then fuel may run out in the petrol stations quite quickly. My approach during election period is that I always refuel when fuel reaches half tank.
6. Make emergency plans at your place of work. Create a phone daisy chain – so that everyone knows who will call them with updates and who they need to call. This is the fastest way to get information out. Have a list accessible to all with emergency contacts for every team member. I mean every team member, the cleaner and the askari are part of the wider team. One of my clients also has further plans, since they have to have their internet services up and running. So those who work in 24hr shifts, rearrange their duties, they go temporarily on 12hr shifts, to minimize movement of staff. There is even an arrangement with the hotel next door, so that these staff members can sleep there if need be. In addition to that there is a plan B, where mattresses and food are stored in the office building, for a worst case scenario.
7. Continue work as normal, until anything untoward happens, or there is need for concern. At the same time keep your eyes and ears open and discuss and assess any unusual occurrences.

You see it is not that difficult

The Waiting Game

Election Day and the subsequent wait for results can be nerve wrecking. Again make sensible plans. You do not need to be glued to the TV, Nothing much will happen during the Voting Day.

I usually keep myself busy with normal things. I go to the forest, play a round of golf, if the course is open or spend time with friends visiting. We avoid talking about the elections and just enjoy the extra day off. Those who go to vote, go at their chosen time and live continues.

Even when first results come out, you do not need to stay glued to the TV or Social Media updates. This will only make you more anxious. Just continue with normal life and watch news occasionally. Actually stay away from Social Media, since there will be rumors’ flying around, opinions being voiced as if they are facts etc.

Then the next day continue to go to work, if it is save for you to get their. Discuss any concerns with the relevant person at your office. Be alert and move with caution.

You will pretty soon know if there is any reason for real concern.

Meanwhile if you feel your are getting anxious you can do any of the following:

• Switch of the TV and the internet
• Change the topic
• Pray
• Meditate
• Go for a walk in a forest (if save to do so)

No need for Panic

You see it is that easy. Be alert, take precautions, prepare and then continue normal life. Don’t allow an election to disrupt your normal life too much. There is no need for panic.