What to do when your Life is falling apart

Sometimes we do find ourselves in situations where things are just falling apart outside of work and this definitely affects your work. Have you ever sat at your desk, struggling to hold back tears, your brain is on a re-play you do not seem to be able to stop? It has happened to me several times in my life. Let me share a few quick fixes and one or two long time fixes for such situations.

Quick Fixes

These are in no particular order I use them by gut feeling.

  • Take a walk, if possible in a forest
  • Do a good gym work out, where you push yourself to the limit
  • Meet your BFF to moan & groan. At this point you just want to feel better you are not ready for a solutions yet, so no need to dissect the situation.
  • Go treat yourself for a spa treatment, a meal or a nice cup of coffee.
  • Burry yourself in work – this actually works for the short time. It needs to be work that uses your full brain capacity. While you are working you will forget what is bugging you. But it is not a long time solution. You will burn out, if you do it over a longer period.
  • Meditate

I am sure you can come up with other solutions. The above are simply quick solutions to give your brain a break and give you some relief. Now you need to follow it up with a long term solution.

Long Term Solutions

Only if you find a solution that gives you peace and brings you back to your happy self will you be able to go back to normal life and perform at your best. This is part of work-life balance, anything that affects you in your private life, will affect your performance at work. Your mental health will also suffer with any unresolved conflict, issue and challenge.

You need to sit down and work on a proper solution. Rest in the knowledge that this will make you grow and you will come out stronger on the other side. Here are a few things I do, again in no particular order:

  • Get back to your BFF, now it is time to dissect the situation and get to the bottom of it
  • Do a brain dump, put all your thoughts and feelings on paper. Then try to put them in some order. Group those that belong together and think them through. Where are these thoughts and feelings around this come from? Why is it bugging you so much?
  • Do a SWAT analysis about the situation
  • If it is a relationship issue (this could be friendships as well, not just love relationships) then think it through. Is it time to fight to get things back to normal or is it time to pick up your pieces and move on? If you want to stay in the relationship, is it because you are used to it and it is comfortable? Is it because you feel you won’t find another friend like this? Are you really valued and appreciated in this relationship?
  • Find several possible solutions and think them through one-by-one. A cost benefit analysis can help here.
  • Look out for positive things in your life. What is currently going well? What are you achieving? Maybe it is time to get out the good old achievement box again. I have talked about it before. As I am writing about it, I am rushing to mine to do some updates.

The main point here is that you have to do something. You can not remain stuck in the hole you are in. You owe yourself to resurface from it rising like the phoenix from the ashes.


Whatever you chose to do, you need to get a way out and resolve whatever is affecting your work. By the end of the day you need to make a living and be at your best.

Always remember you are worth it! You are valuable! Yes, you deserve the best – Now don’t go thinking the Best is the most expensive 😉

You deserve a happy life both at work and at home and only you can take care of yourself!

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