Active listening is an art. We say God gave you 2 ears and one mouth. so that you can listen twice as much as you talk.
Many times we listen with pre-conceived filters and only hear what the filter allows us to hear. For example the customer service person who calls someone who had raised a concern. It was a concern, but the customer service person perceived it as a complaint. So he picked up the phone already having decide he is going to explain to this client how the system works. He did not listen at all and for 10 minutes kept interrrupting the client trying to desperately explain how a the system works. You can imagine the client was not amused and the call ended up almost as a shouting match, since the client got frustrated. He felt not appreciated, yet the client had actually tried to raise a system error, that could potentially cost the company money, or leave them open to fraud.
A few minutes later a customer service Lady called. She asked first about the issue, listened patiently and with an open mind. Within 1 minute she had understood the issue, she also understood that the client did not have any issue with the actual statement, only with the sms messages giving conflicting information. She and the client had an amiable conversation and the client felt understood and taken care of.
Can you see the difference?
What is the difference here?
- The customer service Lady had an open mind. She worked actively to remove her filters and pre-conceived opinions
- She took time to understand
- The client was able to talk her through the issue with an example
- The tone remained friendly
- The client felt taken serious, not treated like a stupid child
Can you see how active listening will help you get to the bottom of things easier. It also makes the client feel appreciated and understood. The result is much better and it took less time.
Now take this into a team situation. If you take time to really listen to the your individual team members, you will build trust, understanding and better team work.
What does it take?
And all it takes is a few adjustments in your own mind & attitude:
- Identify any filters you may have
- Put your pre-conceived opinions aside
- Come with an open mind
- Come with a decision to want to understand
- Pay full attention
- Switch off the phone and any other diversion
- Come with a mind to want to find solutions, not to apportion blame
If you learn these few adjustments to your own attitude you will be able to really listen to people. You will be surprised how people will open up to you and you will be able to discuss things with solutions in mind. Conflicts will be prevented.
Let’s all work on our active listening skills!